Good Lord... Ohhh What a trip It has turned out to be

Where do I even begin with this post... Where did I finish off the last post? I think I remember.

So I am currently in Cambodia and I have to say Cam is much much MUCH better than Malaysia.. for me anyway. As mentioned previously I heard non-stop talk up about the food in Malaysia and after eating in Cam.. the food has been sensational here. The food in Malaysia was okay with some great places but they were few and far between. We flew from Georgetown Penang to Sihanoukville Cambodia to find an underdeveloped country which has been invaded by the Chinese. The Chinese have struck deals with the Cambodian government to buy a shit load of land (or lease the land for 99 years) and they are building casinos and hotels up the ying yang. There is an incredible amount of construction and the country has been taken over by Chinese fat cats. It's a little sad because even though Cambodia is poor it has a beautiful amount of natural culture and the people are amazing. The bitch kicker (which I'm sure we'd all figure out) is that the amount of Chinese tourists has sky rocketed and from what I've seen there is a vast amount of Chinese people that are complete assholes to Cambodians. Really pisses me off, they come to visit a lovely country with lovely people and shit all over everyone. Don't get me wrong there are some Chinese people that are very nice but I've seen a lot of the other side of them.

We took a taxi from the Sihanoukville airport to a place called Otres Beach. It took about 5 minutes of me being there to completely fall in love with the country and it's people. The food was to die for and the beer is 1$... and the beer is damn good, brewed in Cambodia. We waited for a boat to take us to a small deserted island which only had two very small and quaint "resorts" on it. After a lot of confusion we were taken to the resort that wasn't ours and had to stay their for 4 hours until another small fishing boat could pick us up and bring us to our place. We were pretty tired and had the most delicious meal at a place called Kactus which had a full bar/restaurant and bungalows. I can only describe it as being in the movie The Beach (with Leonardo DiCaprio) It was an awesome place that had nothing but jungle around it for miles and of course it was on a turquoise beach. Finally at around 11pm we had to practically swim out to our boat because of the water being to rough to come close to the island and it was dark loooool pretty fun. Around 20 minutes later we arrived at K to K Bungalows on the same island only to find a less than desirable bungalow that had a bucket shower ( a barrel with water and a scoop) There was no electricity, the air was hot with no A/C. Hey Shane you wanted a culture shock and to travel across the world to a third world Asian country you got your wish along with everything that comes with it. Soooo with that being said.. we were really tired and banana was a trooper less than excited about it, we took a shower I was being all verbally optimistic  "embrace embrace! this is different and its fun", prancing around naked and trying to be funny, she was laughing a little while dumping the cold water from the bucket on herself in an attempt to clean before climbing into the bed with a mosquito net around it.. then as I'm prancing around she stops and looks at me.. points to my upper thigh and says spider!! I look down and theres a pretty big spider on my leg.. fuuuuck I'll tell you a swatted that bastard away pretty quick and my optimistic enthusiasm was tamed for a good 20 minutes.  When we were done and I was a little calmer we climbed into the bed, which lasted for a good 8 minutes and then retreated to the bed on the balcony which also had a mosquito net. Lying there 30 feet from the ocean on a white sand beach, hearing the waves crashing on that moonlit night.. It was the best sleep I had all trip. A positive and beautiful surprise on a wildly unpredictable day. Waking up to those waves in the morning it was truly a piece of paradise.

With that being said we managed to change the next day and stay at the Kactus bungalows which was heavenly. The bungalow, 10 times better than K to K and the food at kactus is of a 4 star restaurant caliber. The night prior we had met a wonderful couple from the UK and that night at kactus we had dinner and drinks with them which made the time at Kactus even that much more special. We had awesome conversation and wouldn't have traded that night for anything. Dave and Helen if you're reading this thanks for a lovely night and enjoy the rest of your trip!

The next days we set sail for where I had been looking forward to for the whole trip.. Koh Rong Island with a beach front Bungalow and not knowing what would lie ahead we took course. A boat and taxi and another boat later we arrived on the island. Oh wait but on that last boat.. the amount of obnoxious and arrogant Chinese people was disheartening because I thought the island would be covered in the same people with the same behavior. Luckily I was wrong. I don't want to seem like I don't like Chinese people .. lol because I do, for example My friend Will is one of the kindest and best people I know, hes Chinese and I love him! Just thought I'd add that :).

We found our bungalow and it was spectacular with a private shower and bathroom overlooking the incredible ocean.. with a hammock on our balcony (which I spent most of the time in) best bungalow we could have imagined. I'll post a bunch of pictures on here eventually I promise. We were suppose to spend 2 nights there but I extended it to 3 which coincidentally would make the trip that much more memorable in a positive and negative way. Good Lord... I'll get to that. The food on Koh Rong was nothing short of spectacular the whole time and the beer and vibe was just as good. Swam in the ocean, lay in the hammock, and found a pool table (although it was shit) it was still fun for a bit. Had a night on the town our second night and then the third night......there was a full moon party.. I've never been to a full moon party and opted not too go in Koh Samui (Thailand) earlier in February. It started at 11pm, I took a nap from 8pm-11pm and then we made our way there. We didn't drink too much. just wanted to see what it was all about. Within a 20 minute walk through the jungle we made it. Holy shiiit, I would say about 30% of the people there were fuuuucked up on acid, shrooms or ecstasy.. there was a huge tribal head above the dance floor with waves going though it like Pink Floyd style.. some people just relaxing on the beach, others dancing looking like they needed medical attention. Some people were on a different planet. It was a little bizarre to see. We stayed for about 45 minutes and then left. There was also a snack bar where you could buy various treats infused with various narcotics loooool. On the way back in the jungle we found a really random bar and stayed there for a bit. At this point it was about 145am. While making our way back to our bungalow everything was closed... I was sooooooo hungry!!!!!!!!! We were SO "LUCKY" to find a 24 hour restaurant. What I thought was luck at the time turned out to be utter horror the next day... ohhh yeaa fuckin food poisoning.. I ate pizza.. bad idea. It tasted good.. The next morning I woke up with a subtle stomach ach and went to eat some Cashew Chicken. The next 4 hours weren't fun but it wasn't too bad. We took a boat back to the main land and had a 5 hour bus ride scheduled to go to Phnom Phen. I thought I could power through it. We had to wait 2.5 hours for the bus. I stared to feel really badly.. took a 1.5 hour nap. Then was like okay okay I can do this, whatever.. I'll power though. Started shiteing at the restaurant pure water fountain liquid water shite.. My stomach started to really bloat. I asked the bus people if we could change the ticket to the next day and she said no. We took the bus to a station, while on the bus.. well it was a van 8 seater, I apologized to everyone in advance that I would most likely vomit all over the place, we drove 15 minutes to a bus station where we were suppose to change buses and I couldn't move.. so I mosy'd off the bus and told the people I needed a hotel, I collapsed on a mattress on the ground in the back room of the bus station and wasn't very cognizant of what was happening. Told a tuk tuk driver to take us to a nice hotel with AC.. he took us to a hotel, not a nice one, with AC. I made my way up a few flights of stairs, showered and lay on the bed for about 15 minutes. FINALLY I got up and ran to the bathroom and JUST before getting to the toilet I puked my guts out... allllllllllllll over the bathroom... I took a picture so get ready for that. puked puked puked everywhere not one drop in the toilet. I tried to clean it because their was a drain in the ground as the shower ran onto the ground. The drain was clogged LOL. with puke and hair and whatever else. Sooo I went down to talk to someone who worked there, I was trying to explain what happened and the guy had no idea what I was saying so I was like okayyyyy come with me buddddd. I brought him up and showed him, there was puke everywhere.. he looked at it and then left and never came back! I can't say I could blame him but mannnnnn help us out our bathroom is unusable!!!! After puking I felt wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy better. I was alive again..

The room was $20 USD so I was like hmm...? Yep. After about 2 minutes a booked an actual nice hotel online and then we went there by tuk tuk. So I pretty much puked all over the bathroom and left, pretty comical if you ask me. Got to the new hotel, still exhausted.. checked into, again an actual nice room, had a few smoothies and we both slept for about 11 hours.. next morning BAM 5 hour taxi ride later I'm in Phnom Phen. Banana got onto a plane a few hours ago and is headed back home. Soooooooooooooo I'm alone again and I'm feeling much better not quite a hundy P but ohhhhhhhhhhh yea... much better.

A bit of the itinerary got a little screwed up but that's okay. Shit happens and I'm just glad that I don't feel like I'm dying anymore. I booked two nights at this hotel so I won't get to see Siem Reap. I decided to stay in Phnom Phen for another night because I really want to pay my respects at the killing fields here.. This is one big reason I wanted to come to Cambodia, so I will do that tomorrow. Only a few days left in my trip and before you know it I'll be in Bangkok on the 28th then 30th I'll be on route to YVR!

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this post because it was one that just flowed out of me. Flowed as gracefully as the vomit did..


Pictures will come eventually!

Georgetown Penang

Good Afternoon or morning or evening,

I guess the salutation depends where you are in the world.. any who we left Melaka a few days ago and are now in Georgetown which is a city in the Penang district / province. I must say that hearing all about the food I was excited to come and experience it all. However I must say that I like Thai food much more. There are some great dishes here in Malaysia, particularly the Indian cuisine but I'm not a big Chinese food fan so overall I'm gonna have to say - a little dissatisfied. Nevertheless it's all about sucking in the culture and sucking it in good, sucking it clean as my heterosexual life-mate Koliacivo would say.

We Arrived in Georgetown and paid out the Jane for a taxi from the airport to our guesthouse. They have it figured out pretty good, fleece the "rich" tourists on the taxi ride from the airport because you can't get to your hotel any other way. Well played my "friends".

Georgetown is pretty cool, after checking into our guesthouse we immediately set out to find a pool table. After a few unsuccessful attempts (due to the pool places being closed down) we finally were directed to Soho Public house, an Irish Pub. They had two pool tables! After we played alone for a bit were invited to join the, honest to God, only game in town. It was marvelous.. there were about 8 people including us. For those of you who don'y know pool culture and etiquette, this how it works: there is a chalk board with peoples names on it in an order, if you want to play you simply put your name at the bottom on the list and wait your turn. If someone wins they keep playing as per the list. This is where you can "run the table" and "own" it for some time if you have the skill to do so. These guys were pretty damn good. My first game I lost.. then next time I played I got a little lucky and won then won again and started a little run.. nothing feels better than running a table and everyone's watching. I got into a little grove and won 4 strait. Let me tell you.. i was enjoying every minute it. Just appreciating where I was and how it was going. We had finally found what we were looking for pool wise. We met a guy from California who had lived in Georgetown for the last 8 years - he was 73. Beauty of a guy who we sat and chatted with for the night. He had worked on oil rigs his whole adult life and was now reaping the benefits of the cheaper lifestyle here in Malaysia. I curiously asked him why he choose Malaysia specifically to set up camp.. he put it to me wisely. Me, a lover of the Thai culture and everything about it inquired as to why he wasn't in Thailand.. Thailand is cheaper and better. As i said, his commenced his words of wisdom: Firstly, he said - If I went to live in Thailand I would be dead within a few years hahaha. Ohhhhhhh I understand.. In thailand everything is immensely intensified and more extreme. For example - I have not seen a sex worker here in Malaysia yet.. I mean i may have but I wouldn't have known. In Thailand they are EVERYWHERE. Every city every bar everywhere. In Malaysia to the naked eye they are non-existent. you can get anything you want in Thailand. The old man put it to me - Here I can have a balance and go at my own pace - not over doing it. He said he could have girls here just as he could in Thailand but the temptation was less because the sheer volume was less. His heart could take it a few times a week but not a few times a day LOL.

I then met a guy that was from England - probably around 70. He talked about his times in Thailand and how he was on the island of Koh Pangangh (Or however you spell it, what am I trying to win a spelling Bee here.. negatory) he got pretty intoxicated and then ended up falling down a hill and crashing into a tree which resulted in him shattering his knee. $8500 UK pounds and 3 months in a hospital later he was finally able to leave the hospital. Then he went on about how he broke his hip regarding a similar incident $5000 UK pounds. Good job bud surely you learned your lesson to be the F careful but I guess these things do happen. I've been lucky, thank God. Which brings me to my next point. Later that night I was walking back to the guesthouse.... I was not drunk i had only 4 cream sodas. I was walking out of a restaurant we just went in to get a bottle of water and .. BAM, SMASH, KA BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A car drives up on the curb and no no lol I just twisted my ankle on the curb. Still hurt and I wrapped it up with a tensor bandage. It's a little sore now but I'll take that injury any day over a real injury.

The next night we set forth on an adventure hunt. One really cool and interesting thing about Georgetown is that they have secret - hidden bars. No joke. You have to find a secret door and figure out how to get in. We found 4 but only two 3 were open. One of them you walk into this room off the street and it's a large bathroom where everything inside is gold. There is no signage indicating that it's a bar. You then go inside a non-marked random door. It brings you into a scroungy ally kind of thing. Then you go into a door and everything is pink and gold and very expensive. It was pretty cool. next we got a taxi to bring us to this address on the internet. You have to pick a code out of a selection of 6 then input it into a key pad where there is no door. Finally when you guess the right code you push on a few walls until one opens like a door. Really cool place.


As I write, my energy level is lessening.. I need to do a dirty dozen as well so i think I have to end this post with my thoughts as we ran into a few hurdles today. There were a few aggravating circumstances this morning like laundry being super complicated and no breakfast place open until 10-11 am  - stupid.  BUT! These agitating factors prompted an interesting conversation and an optimistic approach. Embrace it all - Whatever happens being good or bad. It's easy to be happy and relaxed when everything is going your way but when the weather changes and brings a bit of a storm... just embrace the shit out of it and remember where you are and the opportunity of what you get to experience. Look at the person beside you and remember how much you'll miss that shitty circumstance with them when they are back to being 10,000 miles away. Remember it could always be worse and appreciate the little things, honestly kind of even appreciate the annoying things. Life's a ride. Strap in and prepare for the unknown to take you places you've never dreamed of going. Also never shave your private parts with an electric razor cause you might cup yourself and wonder what in the hell you were thinking, I mean what in God's name would possess you to use an electric shaver down there..? Also don't eat like 8 fiber one bars during a long car ride. Also Vandamme is such a beauty. ;)



I don't have my camera SD card to attach pics but I will next time.

Good day, good evening and or goodnight.

Melacca! Yes! Wicked City

Alright so I left Singapore a few days ago and flew over to Kuala Lumpur (KL), Malaysia. I'd never been to Malaysia before and I had expectations that it would be somewhat similar to Thailand. I was right and I was wrong.. Firstly I arrived in KL at the airport at about 1500 hours and I was pretty excited for 2 reasons, I would be meeting my travel partner and I heard great things about KL. I initially arrived and was frantically looking for the coffee shop that my travel partner was in. Lets give them a name... hmmmm what name to give? A type of fruit perhaps? Maybe a Banana? Lets go with the Thai translation for Banana, Klouy. Oh what a beautiful name! I like it.. I think someone who had a name like that would be a kind, sweet, generous, beautiful and an amazing person But! Who am I to make such an assumption! So, I finally find Klouy and it was an indescribable feeling to meet up with her again. Special and emotional. Anyway this blog is about travelling not that stuff!

We took a taxi to the room I booked only to find it was the size of a shoe box and had shite all over the walls with no bathroom and no AC sooo we went to another place which was solid and booked two nights. This hotel was right int he center of the city. KL... a massive city, bustling with people from all over the world and with a large amount of monuments, including the Patronas towers. Malaysia, being to geographically close to Thailand I had the preconceived notion that pool tables would be easily accessible. Oh how wrong I was. We finally found a few pool tables only to find that the pool balls were tiny, along with the table and cue. Shoot! Ohh whatever lets play, one thing you have to do when you traveler is play poooool. Its part of the passage, a pastime passed down generation to generation of travellers hmm except if you're from Malaysia I guess. We actually had a lot of fun and are pretty competitive with one an another when it comes to pool AND she had been practicing and is damn good now! Which is awesome because we can play real games and she beats me a lot! We're keeping score and I think its tied 11 games a piece at the moment. I'll keep you updated on the score as time progresses. The next day we checked out The Batu Caves, which was the highlight of the city. 300 stairs up, you get past all of the monkey's and you find yourself in these pretty cool caves and there's a temple up there too.

After that we went on a 3 hour loop of a hop on hop off bus.. hey i had to give KL a chance.. and it was a bust.. interesting to experience but a huge metropolitan city with not much to offer me personally. But i will give it this.. the food was exceptional.. I watched a guy make ramen noodles by hand in front of me and then I ate them.. soooo fresh .. and then I had a shawarma with REAL garlic sauce.. It was the best I've had in years.. comparable to Ottawa but I think it might have been better... annnnd then we had Mc Dicks for breakfast, couple of egg mc'muffins pretty solid. The Hop on Hop off was painful to get through but I wanted us to see the city for real and like I said it was a bust for the most part.

From there, a little disappointed because my expectations were whipped against a wall of shite and shattered into a million pieces, we made our way to a historical town named Melacca (Melaka). Two hours on bus and Bam! The first afternoon and night was pretty crazy. We did quite a bit.

First things first where is a pool table.. we walked around searching and happened to walk by the only place in town that had a pool table. A crazy ass rasta bar that was Bob Marly'd to the extreme. I don't think this place had customers in the last 8 years but they had an ancient pool table on the second floor right beside a shoe box bedroom. I could have thrown a chair through the wall and they wouldn't have noticed - that's how new it looked. Smelt like a 100 year old Gene but like I said it had a pool table. We walked around more and ohhh the foooddddd was sensational.. food shops everywhere ! Heavenly. Skinny streets, lots of history, cobblestone, wonderful people. I was quite pleased because this redeemed the shite-ness of KL. There's a canal that runs through the city, I had a watermelon to drink and a coconut at the same time. Last night we sat and had some food and brewski's on the canal.. met a guy from Bangladesh, he worked at one of the restaurants. That night he took us on a sketchy cab ride.. I was pretty jacked up during it and half way through when the driver stopped and started texting his friend I thought I was gonna have a Harris in Colombia situation. I was mentally preparing to choke out the driver. Then hog tie him to the roof, jump into the drivers seat and jink around the city. Thought of you Koliacivo! (Scurrrrhhh Boy) Thankfully that didn't happen and we made it to the live music venue where it was ladies night (Ladies drink free) sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet. Had a couple of cream soda's there and played some beer pong! I though growing up and playing hockey, being a part of various beer pong tournaments would make me goood.. Nope I got my ane kicked by an obese Chinese guy. It was then 1 am and we were ready to go. Alright taxi! ummm what ? Taxi's don't run at night? Bangladesh guy.. are you lying to me? Is this a way to "walk us home" and then we get robbed.. So I was jacked up again while we walked to our guesthouse.. Eyes, throat, groin - Eyes throat Groin. Hopefully I dislocate my shoulder.. yea that would be great. Turns out Bangladesh boy was a good guy.

Today we rented my first ever tandem bike, holy shat it was fun biking around Melaka. Screaming and slinking around DEEEEEE EYEE YEYEYEY. Klouy giving me a massage while I steered. UN-real. I think tonight we'll take a river boat cruise, cause it looks pretty F'ed uppp unreal. Then tomorrow we head back to KL to catch a plane to Georgetown Penang.

Luckily I found a computer to use in a hotel that I'm not staying at. Security guy came over to me and I said -  you GOOD or NO bud?! nooo !? or YEa? He looked confused and disoriented then awkwardly nodded his head and quickly moved away from me. Mission accomplished. I'm gonna try and put some pics up. God it feels good to not have to work and be travelling... HUGE part is Klouy, such a great travel companion. She suggests something to do and pretty much takes the words right out of my mouth. Same mindset and very similar interests. Okay folks, enjoy the Pics!

Blue thing - top right.. Phenomenal 

Food center in Singapore 

Best breakfast sandwich I've ever had in the Singapore Airport. The bread melted in my mouth

Crazy structure in Singapore 

Indian food at Batu Caves 3$

Inside Batu caves KL

Top view of Batu Caves 

On the way up monkey's everywhere 

Tandem action! So much fun

Drinking a water melon the guy egg beater'd the inside 

This is that blue food in the first picture.. wrapped in banana leaf and good to go !

Spent an hour looking for this place today. Finally I listened to Klouy... She knew exactly where it was! I felt dumb

SIMPLY SINGAPORE (Not Simply)

Long flights are not ideal but when you arrive aaaaaand get your internal clock on local time it makes it worth it. I left Vancouver International Airport at 1250pm (afternoon) on November 10th. Finally a 12 hour flight to Beijing, 7 hour layover and 6 hour connecting flight later I arrived in Singapore. 25 hours in transit - wheres that emoji of a face puking out grew spew.. It was alright, I guess. No, It was actually not that bad. I caught about 5-6 hours of sleep here and there during the commute before ending up in Singapore at 0630am. I was pretty tired but pumped to get it started.

After finding my Hostel I had the most incredible shower.. I'm staying in a 4 bed dorm but there is only one other guy in the room so it's pretty solid ($30). After not being able to sleep a wink I set out around 10am to explore the City / Country / City of Singapore. What do you hear everyone say about Singapore...? It's the first thing you hear about it and they go on and on about it... It's so clean, it's really clean, the streets are so clean. Well here's my response to that: Shuuuuuut uuuuuupppppp. Honestly though, it is spotless.. absolutely spotless! I was talking to a cabbie, he had some interesting things to say including that (as all of you know) spitting is illegal. But! They enforce it and it's a  $200 fine!!! They will not let you off with a warning, they issue you that ticket. Well for those of you who know, I spit like a disgusting camel, well.. a camel with manners. Come to think of it i was actually sucker punched in the face in Ottawa back when I was 22 because some MHA dickhead thought I spat on him. Remember that Bekah..? Anyway we're getting off topic! So , I have probably spit on the ground about 20 times since I've arrived in Singapore, that's $4400 (if my math is correct, which it usually isn't) That's more then this entire trip will have costed me! I gotta tone it down eh?! Ohhhhhhh yea you? No, you? OH OH OHHHH YEA. 

After talking to my cabbie friend I decided that the most efficient way to see the city was by "Hop on hop off bus" (H bus) this was because I'm only here for one night before I head to Malaysia tomorrow morning. The ticket was $46 doll hairs.. not cheap and on that note: nothing in Singapore is cheap. It's actually ridiculously expensive. Car's are 3 times the price of what we pay.. One single room in a multiple room apartment is $1000 a month.. food is comparable to Vancouver. Everywhere during happy hour, a bucket of 5 beer is $45. Geeeeeze Singapore, I like you but a little less now. Suffice to say I didn't have any beer today. 

The H bus turned out to be a great a idea. To be honest, I wasn't really sure what to expect from Singboy land. I came here mostly because the flight was the cheapest I found and figured, ya why not, I might as well check it out, I've heard good things. Now, with that being said I was grossly surprised. One of the most noticeable things was the unbelievable architecture. It is hands down the most incredible vast group of modern, historical and innovative buildings, structures and bridges I have ever seen within one city. It just wouldn't stop, there was always another "something" captivating around the corner. It's a unique mixture of modern and historic. There's even a golf course within a park here and Singapore is not that big. Then you can walk down Clark's Quay which is a winding river with some of these architectural giants on either side of you. Keep walking down the Quay and you find yourself engulfed by an awesome array of restaurants and pubs/bars where the live music and nightlife scene light up the river. Fancy a river boat cruise down the Quay? The quay's got you covered. I'm good though.  

Also, I was quite surprised when checking into my hostel someone came up the stairs and asked me if I dropped a $5 bill outside.. ummm yea I believe I did. I actually did. 

Alrighty well it's 11pm here and I'm still pretty tired, hopefully I can get a good nights rest tonight and be all time zoned in by tomorrow. Wouldn't that be something.. Has anyone ever had that? you're so tired that you can't sleep.. sounds like a bullshit paradox eh. 

Tomorrow at 1255pm I will be flying to kuala Lumpur and meeting up with my friend who will accompany me on my travels for the next two weeks. I am beyond excited but a little nervous because I haven't seen them in a while! I'm sure we'll have a great time, we did on our last adventure. Someone told me that it was pretty cold in Vancouver today :) enjoy that for me.

Until next time !

Shaner